洗脸记

我是热泪盈眶的，在那好似手术台上方的刺眼白光灯下。
此时的我，是‘手无缚鸡之力’的，躺着，任由美容师的鹰爪宰割。
以眼皮覆盖着的眼珠子，在毫无预警的情况下渗出一粒粒的泪珠，好像可以串起来当成珍珠项链了。然而泪珠一直一直渗出，从那珍贵的一粒粒，乃至一堆堆的泪水，快要掩盖甚至装满那深深的眼袋了。我摸一摸泪水，那是热的。
美容师一次又一次地替我拭去那没用的泪水，却又狠狠地令我掉出那一串串的链子眼泪，我就好像看了悲伤电视剧后的小女孩，眼泪永远掉不完似的，量一盒的纸巾都不够用。
“砰。。。”手术灯台关上了疲惫的眼皮，静静地，站立一旁。此时，我知道悲痛也会随那灯光一同掩埋在寂静当中。就像鬼门关上后孤魂们再也出不来那样，静静地躲在门后方，等待下一次的解放。他们没有争先恐后。
美容师放下手中的道具，开始往我脸上搽上一层层的液体。冰冰的。直到涂上了第三层面膜后，美容师才静悄悄地退出手术室。
此时的我，心里还是醒着的。那双掌紧握，安放在腹部上，就像那安详的尸体，直直地躺着。那无所事事的脚丫，此时是冷的！莫说脚丫子，我那刚经过热泪洒过的脸，就好像被人用力地丢进那负数十度的冰箱，那样的冷，快要结成冰块了。脚丫子也不听话地开始颤抖着。我心想，怎么身体都开始不是我的了。那么即将去的台湾，我不是得窝在房里。为了不让自己难看，我咬紧牙门，怎么都不愿意呼出美容师的名字。更不让自己的脚丫抗议得逞。
不知撑了多久，美容师缓缓从房外那暖暖的空间溜了进来。我的脸开始又感觉到了人类的温度划过的温暖，还好我还有知觉。
冷冰冰的液体开始从我脸上不舍得离开，我却乐得不停像他们摇手挥别。但其实他们的存在真的很爽！
新的一年来了，我的皮肤当然也跟潮流地去旧迎新。去除那些看了不怎么有好感的黑头粉刺，迎来了亮丽的滑皮肤。
各位，新年快乐哦~

It is pretty fun to hold 22,500 NTW dollars on hand, how if it is ringgit Malaysia, or even US dollars~ wohoo..
I am now officially but halfly preparing for my Taiwan trip. I have exchanged my money to Taiwan dollars ( 8000 TWD belong to wen wen, my partner).
I have done some researches of where is the book street, nice food recommended and so on and so forth.
I asked my friends who stay in Taiwan of the weather when I saw her status one day : "It is so fun to with XX, XX..... in such a cold weather! I think Taiwan is going to snow." Taiwan has never snow we know, so do my friend. Yet I guessed it is the metaphor (perhaps a little bit too exaggerated) to describe the cold weather. I asked them the weather and so to confirm if I could buy any summer clothes at that moment. The answer is disappointed. They said it is the coldest period in Taiwan the time when we visited. -.-lll
Besides, they asked me not to put expectation on clothes as all are selling winter sweater, jackets blah blah blah... Hey, I am not going to wear the heavy cotton on my body in Malaysia! Before I suffered sunstroke, I was sent to Tanjung Rambutan.
However, they didn't really spoil my mood when they said I can buy books. Books are cheap! Woohoo...that's why I haven't been to bookshop recently, and that's why I have been saving money lately. This is the show time!!!!! Wakaka....
Back to the weather, before I was sad to dead, instead I decided to buy me something, or I shall say I decided to prevent myself from cold to dead. I went to do some shopping this few days. I love shopping yet it is terribly pity to shop without money ( except the first day I went with my mom)...
I have bought some long sleeve shirts and pants, as well as shorts. I have bought myself a jacket as well for a discounted price, RM39.90!!!!!!!! Damn cheap I tell you. I am a smart consumer.
I skipped every bookshops when I passed by. I will never be a smart consumer in front of those yummy books.
That's my process in the preparation for Taiwan trip and also my reason to do shopping. XD

I will print out the LRT maps and also the district maps when school reopen so that I can fully use my time in Taiwan. I found that Taiwan LRT starts operating from 6am to 12am which means I can go out travelling in the early morning and come back hotel in the late night. YES!
And some tidbits for my little readers here, you can write me some comments if you want me to help buying something from Taiwan. This is only special for my readers~ ^^
And, Uniqlo is nice place to shop~ haha....

By the way, YES is in everywhere in Bukit Bintang.

小象。感恩

女孩手握着那黄橙橙的小象锁匙圈仔，几乎把小象给扭成一团的花布了
手中的小象，无力地躺卧在女孩掌上，就像那人家说的掌上黄象
小象经由那掌管千织万线的铁针牵制下，再经由那巧妙的柔柔人手下诞生（包装是说handmade的）
随后再随着新主人搭上铁飞鸟，离开自己出生的地方
或许是出生于微笑国度的因素驱使，小象脸上总挂着那甜而不腻的半弯月，是多么地讨喜啊
女孩看看手上的小象，在看看窗外的星辰
女孩总是在懊恼，该怎么把手上的小象给送出去呢？


对方，不是女孩心仪的对象
手中的小象，更不是什么定情之物，而是感谢之礼
这个人，在女孩几次的请求下，都一一满足其
就算是那恐怖时期，这个人还是不推辞地帮了女孩一把
就算是那半夜三更，人人该入睡了，他还是会答应女孩的要求而大动脑筋（虽然对他而言，是不遗余力的工作）


对方，不是女孩心仪的对象
手中的小象，恰似那补偿内疚的礼物
这个人，一直在陪着女孩跑步，在旁递给女孩矿泉水
甚至还买了香蕉、有氧汽水等补充能量食品来鼓励女孩
只是女孩还未到达终点，就推辞了这个人的矿泉水，而跑向他处
这一份感谢，女孩一直放在心上，永远不会忘却
这一份愧疚，女孩直直藏在心角，久久不能放下


小象，是女孩买来送给那个人的手信
希望补偿心里的那份愧疚
也希望通过小象表示女孩的谢意
谢谢咯，那个人！

麻雀说故事

人生最大的侮辱莫过于此


不熟的小表妹：姐姐
麻雀：嗯？什么事啊，妹妹？
不熟的小表妹：姐姐，你几岁？
麻雀：哦？我啊，21岁咯。。。
不熟的小表妹：哦！21岁？做么那么矮的？
麻雀：。。。没办法，就是长不高咯，那你咧？你几岁？
不熟的小表妹：跟你差很远啦。我四年级。。。。


怎样？生理上、心智上的攻击一次过排山倒海而来，淹没麻雀于无形。
今年的圣诞，真是美丽~
圣诞快乐~

圣诞节咯~

一直到外边传来了圣诞，埋首在新年饼干堆的麻雀才惊觉圣诞节的到来
圣诞节了耶！
“ Silent Night, Holy Night。。。”忘了歌词！
听着门外人们报佳音的银银歌声，麻雀特别想念前几年的云顶圣诞报佳音之旅
麻雀家，在圣诞期间，一向来都没有什么圣诞气氛，主要因为家里并没有庆祝圣诞节
真正开始庆祝圣诞，就是在第二个家-云顶
那时候有点糊里糊涂地跟着大队上云顶开始14天的报佳音行程，一唱就唱了3、4年，现在没得再上了~ ><
现在回想，那一段日子还是甜蜜的~
今年的圣诞，麻雀选择留在家里，陪着母亲，度过这个佳节
抱歉，推了朋友们的邀约，因为每年圣诞都与大伙儿聚在一块儿，因此今年麻雀选择呆在家里当宅女
就算没有大肆庆祝，但至少可以和家人度过（毕竟不确定明年是否有机会和家人同庆圣诞）
这也是一个温馨的圣诞夜~
也祝大家有一个快乐的圣诞节！
Merry Christmas! Ho ho ho!

My 1st trip -To The Land of Smile Day 2 (Part 3)

Silom, the red light district

After the session of cleaning in our hotel, we departed to Silom, the famous yet notorious red light district in Bangkok. Before that, I chatted with Mr. Wind through Facebook. I told him that I am going to the red light district to watch Thai girl show. He warned me as many tourists were being cheated there, especially now only both Karen and I. So he told me that it is better for us to "watch" (peep) outside.
The street (Silom) was bustling with noise and excitement when we reached there. It was already 9 or 10pm and the world is seemed like a sleepless night city. People in sexy and hot dress were walking along the road. Of course, the things that have never absent from are the stalls along the road. The street was liven up because of them. 

Various of massage centers and restaurants along the road.

We walked into the alley which lead us to a deplorable reality. There were uncountable Japanese restaurants, as well as massage center stand along the roadside. And many females were standing along the side. Some even sat on the chair in front of the restaurants and waited for their "client". I believe you know what's their occupation even though I did not make it clear. 

The girls were sitting along the road and waiting for their clients.

The street is basically divided into three part which are Thai girl show, Muscle Thai men show and Lady Boy show ( I have forgotten the particular name for each, but it generally meant that). We walked through the road where the three area centralized at. I found that the adult world is complicated and grieved.
I understand they are forced to be that. They are too poor to raise their family thus many of the girls or boys join the industry just to earn a mouth of rice. 
I saw them wearing sexy and beautiful clothes with thick make up, and their smile was hanging on their face. Yet it is merely an adorned case which decorated a spiritless corpse. I see it even sorrowful.
I would say I can only respect their and their condition.
Before I forgot, another thing I would like to mention about the hotel we stayed. I was changing and changing the TV channel swiftly. The hotel is so caring that there are variety of languages channel available for the tourist to choose. I stopped my finger when I saw a scene which really attracted me. Sarcastically, there was nothing in the scene, with only the outside scene of the lift, in black and white color.

I gazed at the monitor, attentively. I found nothing. I quickly look for the TV menu the hotel provided. It stated In House TV. I was like , "What the *tut*!"

"With you enjoy our entertainment", yeah, what an entertain~

They placed a CCTV in front of the lift and showed it to us. It is kind of like intruding our privacy. I told Karen that what if I saw someone killing one another through the monitor, what should I do. She shouted :" Choi Choi Choi!". Then there came our massage girls.
We enjoyed nice massage that night and we fall asleep.

My 1st trip -To The Land of Smile Day 2 (Part 2)

The Temple of Dawn

The manager uncle fetched us to the exit of the temple and called a Tuk Tuk for us. He told the driver where we are going and when the driver told us the price it cost, he helped us to bargain.

Thai girl looking in The Exotic Center

The Exotic Center is totally not what I thought previously. I thought it is a manufacturer/factory however in contrast, it is like a shopping mall with air conditional, more than twenty saleswomen, with luxury decoration and thousand of jewelery. I looked at the price tag. It is obviously not a place for me, but not Karen. She has bought a ring there.

We have our lunch at the third floor in The Exotic Center, after the high recommended by the saleswoman who served Karen. We were asking any nice Tomyam around the center and we got a good news from her that the tomyam at the third floor is the local one. 

Local Curry

Besides, she is the one who told us that if we were going to order Tomyam in Thailand, we have to specific tell the vendor to add spice and sour. This is because most of the tourists could not drink spice thus Thai vendors change the recipe in order to cater the tourists.

However, to our disappointment, the aunty in third floor did not cook Tomyam that day but only curry. We decided to stay and taste the curry, since the saleswomen highly recommended the stall. And it didn't disappointed us though, it tasted good and original. The lunch in The Exotic Center cost us 130 baht.

Another notable benefit of The Exotic Center is that they provide free transportation after you purchase their jewelery.

Grand Palace

We got to Grand Palace then for free. Karen spent 350 baht each person which is 700 baht totally. And followed by Wat Pho where we just simply walked through as we were running out of time. We were rushing for the boat as it ends the service at 5pm.

I managed to capture the view of the land from the top

We took a cross over boat to the front land where the Temple of Dawn, Wat Arun located. The entrance fees is 50 baht. I climbed up to the top and took some photos. At there we found Thailand really got many fruits stalls around.

The friendly fruit seller

We took the boat then and got down at Ratchawong Pier. Our destination for this time is Yaowarat, the China Town. Karen's friend, Nicole told her that we can have meal at a restaurant called Nam Sing. Hence we asked everyone around, just to get to Nam Sing. I enjoyed the process of asking for direction. 

This dessert is really notable!

Besides, we found a really tasty local dessert at the road side. It is really impressed both of us that we missed it after the day.

The defend wall of Grand Palace

Grand Palace

China Town in Bangkok

My 1st trip -To The Land of Smile Day 2 (Part 1)

It was the first morning we were in Thailand. I woke up at 6am and Karen was still sleeping soundly.Then I decided to "re-sleep". 

We took Tuk Tuk to the nearest MRT station, Sala Daeng around 10am then.Our plan for the day was to visit all the temples in the other side of Bangkok (which is impossible we found later). You can see rows of stall along the road in the morning which ambience's like a night market. Seriously, you can find various stalls everywhere, range from Pirated CD, drinks, food to clothes.

We decided to have our breakfast in one of the restaurant beside the station. Karen said she wanted to have some soup for that morning.

The two girl who sell noodles

The thing that the travelers have always encountered in other foreign land is the language problem. We could not communicate with the ladies who sell noodles. They don's speak English and we could not understand Thai. We acted like duck and chicken. The result came out that I pointed to the noodle and show one (means one soup noodle) then she nodded her head. I found body language/ non-verbal language is much important in our daily life. Soon, we managed to enjoy a full bowl of noodle soup after a round of "movement of hands and feet". I have a bowl of noodle soup while sister has her bihun soup.

my noodle soup~

When I was busy capturing photos, we heard a familiar sentence : "Ni Men Yao He Shen Me?" (What do you want to have for drink?) The feeling of excited is hard to describe when you heard your mother tongue in a place which speak different language. He is the boss of the restaurant.I asked him whether he is a Chinese and he replied me that he is an original Thai but can speak Mandarin(fluently).

The boss who speaks Mandarin to us

Back to the question, we asked him any drink(tea) he would recommend for those first come to Thailand.

Ultimately, he brought us two cups of "Cha Suet" - tea with ice (=.=lll)

He told us that Thais love ice,thus we can always find there are a lot of stalls selling tea or coffee with ice in the early morning.The breakfast cost us 84 baht

 

After that, we took MRT to Siphan Taksin then. The ticket is 25 baht per person. According to the guidebook, we have to go through Chao Phraya River in order to visit those temples.The handbook showed us that it is Asia Venice where you can enjoy the boat travel. "Indeed, if you compared with Malacca river", said Karen.

At least, Chao Phraya River is clean and huge, the scenery along the river are enjoyable as well, and with the absence of "four leg snake".

The beautiful scenery along the water road

We got down from Tha Tien Pier (Pier refers to port) and headed to our first stop, Wat Pho (Wat refers to temple). We met a Tuk Tuk's driver in front of Wat Pho who told us that it was Buddha Day thus many wat(s) closed until afternoon. And we were only allowed to enter after the praying ceremony. The driver suggested us to go other place first.

Pig Statue

He offered himself to be our guide with low price thus we decided to take a ride on his Tuk Tuk.When we reached somewhere, he pointed to a statue and asked us to go doing some pray and soon we found that it is a pig statue which was built by a queen who born in pig year. After that he brought us into a wat and he told us that it was a royal wat where elite prayed in the past time.

The Tuk Tuk's driver

Meanwhile, his phone rang. He asked for a excuse and talked while we were still busy enjoying our photographing time. He came back within 5 minutes and his face changed. He told us that it was his wife calling and his daughter was sent to hospital due to an accident.

Manager

Karen squeezed the transportation fees and some tips into his hand for his friendly being. He was touched and left then. We do not think he was cheating us, although he might. Yet the reason for believing him as we believe him as a pious Buddhist. (Buddhist can't lie)
We were so lucky. Since after the sad driver left, a man in his mid-age approached us when he saw both of us. He asked us some formal questions that you guys can imagine. And he volunteered himself to introduce to wat to us. And according to him, he is the manager of the wat where we were.
He is indeed a professional commentator who explained from the wall picture to the building structure. He has even showed us the workers who were working hard ( the wat was under construction that time)

Thais use basket to lift their material

The interior of the Royal Temple

"I tell you. Even the way of construction, different countries have different ways." Indeed, the worker used basket to lift the materials up to the top. He invited us to sit and started to talk to us. He told us many about Thailand in terms of things that Thailand famous of, history and so on. He introduced us a place which called The Exotic Center where we can get cheaper manufacturer price of gold or other gems.
This is the place where really not suitable for me.

I felt extremely happy when I saw the monk. He is so kind.

He told me that his daughter is one year older than me

天下没有理所当然的事

他：你进去吧，我等你进去才走，不然很危险。
我：谢谢哦！你真好！

她：来，我来帮你拿吧，不碍事。
我：唉呀，谢谢你。你真好！

我：你看，他们都是这样这样这样那样那样那样地对我的，你看他们多好！
妈妈：。。。

以上的画面熟悉吗？再熟悉不过了吧，因为这是我们总会面对、遇到的。
外面的世界总是特别好，外面的朋友也总是特别亲切、待你特别好的。
我们总爱高嚷：出外靠朋友嘛！
然而多少人在喊着：在家靠父母了呢？
没有吧？很少吧？
因为父母总是在你遇上危难时，那么地自己送上门
因为父母总是在你遇上困难时，那么地默默而无闻
因为父母的奉献总是无私、没有条件的，而我们身为儿女的也总是一而再，再而三得从父母身上不断地掏着、掏着，掏到有一天，干了，父母还是毫无任何怨言
我们总是觉得父母的体谅照顾是应该的，是与生俱来的
就算你我不珍惜，父母还是会拿他们那热脸贴我们的冷屁股，积极献殷勤
“没办法嘛，谁叫我是他们生，他们当然有义务照顾我了！”
因此我们总是学不会珍惜父母的爱，我们高喊要发挥地球爱，友情爱，珍惜身边的人
然而有谁真正珍惜了父母呢？
身边人的定义也只不过是身边的情人，而非亲人
是谁说了父母的义务肯定是照顾孩子了？
你看那社会上父母把孩子遗弃的事件一再发生
你甚为愤怒地指责不负责任的违法者，然而你最应该做的理应是感谢你父母没有抛弃了你，而含辛茹苦地把你抚养成人
父母对于儿女的爱，甚过于朋友载送你回家而多逗留的那几分钟
父母对于儿女得关怀，与朋友随手帮你拎样东西比起，简直是无从比较
孩子，你该感谢你父母对你的任性的宠爱，一再包容孩子的犯错
孩子，你该好好珍惜父母的爱，
趁佳节将至，开始珍惜身边的亲人，好好陪在家人身边吧！

My brother

We were having our dinner.
It has been such a long time that our family did not have dinner together. Although there were only mum, brother and I that time whilst Maxine sister was taking care of her baby daughter in living room.
When mum went to kitchen to have some soup filled, brother then walked to his room and came out with his purse. He handed me something -- RM50 soon after when he opened his purse.
I was shocked.
He said:" Hey, this is my first time giving you pocket money though not much."
I can see he felt shy, and so to me.
Indeed, this is my first time receiving pocket money from him after he started his job.
I understand his condition. He is now working in Malacca as an insurance assistant manager under Public Bank( if I am not mistaken). His client is not any single of us but banks. He deals with banks.
He lives alone in Malacca (ok, he got a Malaccan girlfriend then). Yet he has to settle everything by himself. Thus I always understand he is not rich and I have never thought of asking for pocket money from him, never.
Mummy always worries about him who refused to work at Kuala Lumpur due to the terrible traffic condition, according to him.
And the chances for us to see him become lesser and lesser.
I hold the money he handed to me. And looked at mum and Maxine sister.
I wanted to give him back but he rejected and asked me to keep it and do not spend randomly.
i accepted it at last. Maxine sister laughed at me and said: " Don't pretending la, hahaha."
Then the awkward situation ended with we all laughing out loudly.
The scene switched to our carpark.
Mum was hugging brother, hardly.
As to Maxine sister and I.
Brother is going back to Malacca.
And we have no idea when he will be home again.
Mum seems worried and sad.

34 more days, I will be going to Taiwan.
My friends are going to Kelantan tomorrow yet I could not follow as I have to save travel fees for my Taiwan trip
This is my second trip to a foreign country. The first one is Thailand which I have never planned before.
I am anticipating yet feeling strange. The feeling is so ambivalent you know.
I know what I am questioning.
It is actually not a travel style which I have been looking for.
I want to wander, I want to walk in the country but not travel through or walk through.
I have once, discussed with my Taiwan travel partner regarding a day trip, that almost lead to an argument
But we stayed silent when our volume started increasing.
And I compromised at the end. I decided to follow the trip though it is not the way I like but the place I wish to go. So deal la!
After seeing the article of Uncle Seng, it inspired me more.
I know this is the way I want to do. Although it is dangerous and challenging, I still like it~hehe
I don't really want luxury travel (though I can enjoy delicious food and stay the fine and comfortable hotel)
Nevertheless, I AM STILL CAN'T WAIT FOR MY TAIWAN TRIP~~~

以前的那个男孩

今晚，下雨了
乌云遮蔽了天空
夜里的星星也任性地和女孩玩起了躲猫猫

前几天，星空
调皮的星星累了，慵懒地瘫在空中
任地上人们的指指点点也懒得爬起累坏了的身躯，躲起来
还有稍有余劲的陨石们，跑得太快而与那地球的守护层相撞，擦出一次次的火花
地上的人们，一次接一次地叫嚣着
兴奋的人们，陆陆续续从温暖的被窝跑了出来
冒着冷夜里的徐徐凉风，双双对对地望着美丽的星空
等待那瞬间的光，一眨眼就逝去无踪了
就像昙花一现般，让人又爱又恨
感情，也像那天上的流星，一瞬即逝
一旦逝去了就再也找不回了

某一个星空下，女孩席地而坐
为睹那划过天空一瞬间却迎来地上一段日子热烈讨论的主角--流星一风采
没有热闹的场景陪伴，因为天空即将亮了
女孩，嘴里哼着歌曲
“有多少爱可以重来，有多少人值得等待。。。”
女孩，哼的是迪克牛仔版的悲伤情歌
这首歌，是那个男孩的歌
那个宠了女孩一次又一次，却也被女孩伤了一次又一次的男孩
女孩摸着秀发，摸着自己的头顶
当歌曲在脑海中不停荡漾着时，女孩在这被众星点缀得天空下，想起了那个男孩
什么时候开始，女孩喜欢上别人摸摸女孩的头的这个动作
那种被人疼爱着的感觉，让女孩恋上了
因为那个男孩的宠爱，让女孩以为是应该的，是应该拥有，是不用珍惜的
男孩负着伤，默默离开
这一份纯纯的感觉，在瞬间，消失无影
在迪克牛仔的歌声陪伴中，随即再也找不回了

在这个没有星星的夜空，显得更加的凄凉
女孩，想起了那个男孩
只是现在摸女孩头的，不再是那个男孩了

It's my life

Living in a country which was ranked as 36 in term of individualism ( adapted from Geert Hofstede. Samovar, L & Porter, R.E.(2007). Communication between cultures. 7th Ed. Thomson Wardsworth.), I am thus an individualistic person who sometimes practice high context culture( in term of my blog).

My housemates, as well as my roommate went back home after their paper since last weekend, which make me started to live in an individualistic life. Since Winnie went back Klang, I started possessing a room, a personal space where only reserve for me and where I called my own. I have never to live in a single room since I was born. And, I love the feeling to have own personal space, I found this.

I enjoyed studying by myself, alone at my own space, while my friends were studying at library. I went to restaurant, packed the lunch, and ate it alone. I was afraid of being alone, before this, especially having meal. I cycled to Tesco by myself. I watched movie in my room, all by myself. I watched meteor also, in the deep 5am while others were sleeping.

I jogs everyday in the evening. When I live alone, I live under poly-cronic style at which I view times flexible and I tend to do whatever I like whenever I want. I can sleep in the afternoon, and study the whole night, or the opposite. Or I can also switch off the light whenever I like, and the vice verse. However, I didn't see relationship as the center since I locked myself in my room, segregated myself from the outside world or ritual world. I am in present orientation in this period of time that I tend to hold the immediate moment as the most significant one and I enjoy it ( as I always said 把握当下). I view future as unknown as I have never known the paper question in advance. Hence, I can only absorb whatever I studied present.

Besides, I practice high context in my nest(my blog) where I always blog my own feeling that only my close friends understand, in term of my poem. You guys are hardly guessed what I want to express and I would like to make a clarification that the poem " The distance" is not refer to my love life, totally not (which CEO thought I talk of my love life). Only two of my friends know what it exactly mean.

I am not doubt, a freak who like to blog about I have studied for my paper. And I damn love C & C yet it is a waste that it is my short semester subject that Ms. Por did not really have time to tell us more. Though I might not score well in my Final but it has never decreased my love towards it. =p

At last but not the least, I would like to end my piece with my feeling right now.
I have been practicing the individualistic lifestyle lately. It is fun and flexible.
However, loneliness, is what an individualistic people always feel.
And individualistic people will always experience "the distance".

Guys, I am so surprise and touching that you have just gone through my dried and jumbled article. Thanks for the support~ And kindly don't mind with my broken english.
Have a nice day~

骊歌响起 2

这个悲伤的季节，我们总是特别忙，邀约特别之多
其实都不是我们毕业，然，我们还是那么地忙，除了读书，social social也很重要
除了学长们的离开，好老师也陆陆续续地离开
随着得知傅老师要离开拉曼去他校进修后，麻雀又得知另一个好老师，Uncle Kenneth也即将离开了
昨天找了傅老师和小莫去喝茶，出发时才发现班上同学似乎很少人会去，因此临时找了救宾
随着丹学长拒绝了麻雀的邀请！麻雀没有气馁，找了奈前主编
结果奈前主编也搬来他的gang（包括丹学长，ho!salah咯）
但，确实度过了一个快乐的时光，哈哈，很敷衍
而原定今天晚上会和Uncle kenneth一起共度晚餐的（勇小姐，相信超开心的）
然，uncle竟然放我们鸽子，他人，竟然身在lumut
因此，可能改去了明天，或报销~
老师们，为你们的将来，打气咯~
希望你们都能够完成你们要的事业
也很感谢你们一直以来的教导~

骊歌响起

 在这个季节，也是与另一个朋友（麻雀多称之为红老板）的离别
此次一别，也不知何时方可见面了
红老板这个人，麻雀曾在这个巢里提过
一个很伟大的人，一个很成熟的人（虽然行为非如此）
感谢这个人，一直那样地帮助我们，一直诚心诚意地给与我们他所会的，他所有的
红老板，要启航了
驾着他的船，要航到他向往的码头
码头，或远或近，麻雀知道老板并不在乎
因为航行的念头，已确定，很坚决
也很欣然地，船只这次自己启航，船长决定上岸，让船只随着海、随着河，慢慢飘流
不捨、伤心，这些情绪涌现在我们心里
但是，麻雀也知道这些情绪都只是一个阻碍，对于红老板
我们所能做的，也只能好好地支持老板，成就老板~
红老板，若你有看这一篇，就要更加加油
希望下一次见到你时，是一个学成归来的红老板
若有什么需要帮忙的，一通电话，麻雀赴汤蹈火！
加油  祝福

麻雀做的生日卡~

背影还打上了barcode~

骊歌响起

每每年尾的到来，也迎来的是那分离的时分
麻雀害怕分离，因为分离带来了伤愁
好在前几天收到的消息是好老师暂且没离开，会多带一阵子，所以伤感减少了一成
然，同时也听到“婆婆”老师极大可能会离开而去美国“自我提升”，因此霎时又多增了半成的不捨
学校的师质总是在不断地削减着
麻雀这一届所幸还有机会遇到一些好老师，纵然也没能遇到一些学长们遇到的好老师
而，接下来的学弟妹们，该怎样？
希望接下来的你们，有机会遇到很好的老师~


言归正题，第三年的学长朋友们，亦也离别在即
首先是麻雀的老鹰学姐，在佛学会认识的新闻系senior
想起当初，麻雀还是新会员，在佛学会里认识的第一个人就是老鹰学姐了（当然，那时的她还不是老鹰，麻雀也不是麻雀）
对于老鹰学姐一个很深的影响，就是很热情和38的一个人(=p)
也记得很深的是那一次第一届海潮汇(year 1)，麻雀看到后来迟到的老鹰
老鹰刚从实习回来，麻雀便问她，“senior,你们的batch有人去Bernama hor~谁酱厉害？”
老鹰学姐很不好意思地说，“噢，就是我”
当时，真想找块墙撞过去
后来比较积极参与佛学会活动后，也比较常接触到这老鹰学姐
在去年的年尾，老鹰学姐找了我，问我要不要替J-on写一篇文章
而我也成为这个batch第一个为j-on写文章的，感谢老鹰学姐给麻雀这个学习的机会
记得那时的题目是怎样去怡保
接下来，就是在佛学营的辅导员营，见识到了老鹰学姐在佛法上的知识，很赞叹这个人怎么那么厉害，好像什么都会的
过后的日子，也在偶然下知道学姐很会唱歌，也有缘和学姐在祥和Yeah!的舞台上合唱两首
还记得在一次BEC课堂后，学姐问我要不要跟她去乌雪帮忙她做survey，我也欣然答应了
因为知道这样可以学习到东西，尤麻雀也未曾见识这一般大选的场面
后来在学姐的部落格看到学姐的感谢词，“哎呀，小意思啦，何足卦齿？”
学姐也曾兴奋地告诉我：Ei,我把你们的名字写进我的毕业论文哦，下次给你看。
只是这个下次也不知是何时了~
也在很多次，做决定当时，学姐也总是给予我很多的鼓励和建议
这一篇，其实在考试前就开始写，但停顿了许久才重新看回它
也不知道要写什么，因为觉得再加什么也只是为了加而加
所以就停笔吧~
*虽然事后得知学姐并不喜欢老鹰，但既已写了，也就懒惰改了~ =p


总而言之，感谢学姐在这阵子的提点还有鼓励
也记得第一次被学姐“骂”：新闻系学生怎么可以不看email
结果我从此以后都检查inbox （纵然还是堆积了1000封的email)
祝福学姐，在记者之路上，越行越精彩
人生道上，也越行越顺~
加油咯，学姐~
麻雀会去槟城找你玩的~

Dear friends~

The time when I posted out my blog
My friends scolded me. ( Not scold in fact, is worrying+geram)
The time when I wrote my experience out, I think nothing.
I just feel to share and voice out.
But then I see the impact.
This made me feel that I couldn't simply post anything if I didn't want them to worry about me. (luckily my mum don't online)
People are worrying about me and said :" Don't be like that again next time!"
"Why never you hear our advice?"
"It is dangerous, you know!"
"Why don't you call me?"
But, no one praise me :" Hey! Good! You are so alert! (have you had Brand's?wakaka)"
Seriously, I, in the contrast, like myself, after this.
I can be so alert, now only I realised.
This is an eastern society. You can find its characteristic through my experience.
If for westerner, their reaction would not be like what my friends reacted.

All my dear friends, I am sorry to let you guys being so worried and geram.
I sincerely apologise to you.

Thanks a hundred lot for your concerns.
But, please. Don't ask me not to cycling to anywhere.
Please don't ask me stop cycling to old town.
Or else, I will bored to die in Kampar, one day.

I saw McD uncle today!

I was cycling to McDonald's in Kampar from Eastlake, alone.

CEO texted me this morning, told me that there was an opening in McD that time.

So, I cycled there.

Ok, I admit la, I initially wanted to cycle to old town to grab some banana and have my veggie tomyam

Then, I decided to go McD first then only I cycle to old town.

I was late.

That time when I reached McD, the opening ceremony was almost end.

I snapped some photos and saw the short-version Ronald McDonald ( "short version" is from Saravani)

I remembered the brands video immediately since after I saw him, the bad guy looked (he indeed like a bad guy with his make up)

Yet I found this guy funny and friendly (But he put me aeroplane!) lol

One thing I found awesome to CEO is, WOW, he is a truly journalist

He got a great rapport that he knows many people

He can also talk to the McD top management easily

I salute to him(bowing), and this is what I got to learn from him

We asked of the Ronald McDonald.

Then one of the top told us something that I would really like to share.

"In one hot day, during an event, I asked Ronald, ' My make-up is going to melt, why don't yours melt?'

Then he replied me,' I was born with this skin.' "

Besides, they told us that no one in the company know Ronald personally.

"Whenever we meet him, he is in this attire."

"And when we asked him where he lives, he will always answer: 'I live in McDonald land' ."

I found Ronald is really professional in his work yet will he feels loneliness?

Does anyone sees his real face? Or does anyone who see his real face knows what he work?

He is someone really mystery

After that, CEO asked me where I want to go.

Then I told him, I want to go to eat tomyam, veggie tomyam.

He refused. He said he wants to eat rice then he brought me to Pasar.

In the result, we have the indian rice as our lunch. T.T

Though I did not have my tomyam but I still have a nice food.

Nice Indian Rice at Pasar.

After all, I cycled back to Eastlake, to study my C & C.

When I was on my way to the shortcut (before down to it, we always need to glide down to the shortcut. It was like a down hill.)

I heard the sound of motor engines, I felt so suspicious as I didn't hear it before I reached there.

And the sound was made, so sudden.

I stopped and stood beside, pretending I was arranging my basket.

A Malay big fat guy passed by me and glided down to the shortcut.

I did not raise my head but I know he was looking at me.

I immediately placed my bicycle aside and stood on the entrance and looked down to the shortcut.

I wanted to make sure if he reached Eastlake side only I start cycling.

However I could not see his figure, at all.

To my horror,the motor engines sound was heard again. And it was nearer, and nearer.

I ran back to where I stood originally, again, pretended I was arranging my things.

This time, I dare myself to stare at him.

He looked at me and smiled, with a really horrible smile.

I, instantly, lowered my face, and started busying my things.

I stood there, helpless, don't know what to do.

At the moment, I still hold the thinking that I am going to wait at here and see whether he will back or not.

If not, I will still cycling through the shortcut.

As what I expected, he returned again.

I was really angry that I jumped to my bicycle and ride back to new town.

I will not want to spend my precious time with you, dirty fat guy.

I called Big House Sister and asked her what shall I do.

She was at library, the time when I called her.

If can, I really hope she can ride her bike here.

She asked me to cycle through UTAR.

Which mean, I got to cycle through Newtown, Westlake, UTAR then can only reach Eastlake. ( this is why I hope she can ride to me, I was too lazy)

And I was touched when I saw Big House Sister ride her bike to escort me in UTAR.

Anyhow, I am home now, safe.

Sorry for letting my friends worried.

And thank you for your concern.

However, though you guys said I am stubborn

I will still insist to cycle, no matter to where.

This is my only transport (When the Myvi's owner back to Klang)

And I am going to appreciate the time when I still have opportunity to cycle.

And I have something to tell that Malay big fat guy.

Hey, You Got Nothing To Do Hor!!!??

So Free, Wandering Around But Not Doing Work!!!!

I Am Not Going to Scared By You. See La, If I Meet You Someday Else, I am not going to do anything la.

But My Advice To You!

Stop Being There. Stop Thinking Of Doing Something Bad There la!!!!

Don't break my road la~~~~

(at the end, I couldn't have my tomyam today again~)

你真行！

你真行！得以让人欢喜让人愁
你真行！有那本事让人愁上愁
你真行！让人目盲且心生发愁
人们好说你唯美我说你真是丑

你让那有为青年为你沉溺黄河
你让外面不数少女为你而淌泪
你却无动而于衷，坐观，享乐

人们了你之恶，苦难逃你圈套
你何时愿慈悲，放开苦人手臂
解开苦人的心，放开苦人枷锁
允他们展翅吧，允他们离你吧

加油啦，所有在苦痛中的朋友们，你们不是孤单的~

我的权利何在？

天平上你我    无分毫之差
有色眼镜前    你我是有差
你之所能为    我自认不差
我之所能做    你未必能达
然世间肤浅    想你行我渣
教育专业上    我不比你逊
恨那专制度    我永后于你
论经济政治   
纵我不媲你所高高在上
然我必不低头于你
权利，我必争
权力，我更争
以证你我同处水平上
天平上你我    叹还是有差  

Boy & Girl

Fortuitously, I witnessed an extremely comical circumstance when I was on my way to university for my first paper - IMC
There was a boy, who was cycling, hardly, exerting his utmost strength, leading back to Eastlake residential area
I passed by him
There was a girl, who sitting behind, relaxingly, looking and combing her not so extraordinary hair
This has constituted an intense contrast, so unbalance image
One was so tiring whilst another one was so relaxing
I assumed the girl as the boy's girlfriend
Can't just the girlfriend be more mindfulness and can't just she jump down from the bicycle and walk by herself, for just a little distance?

What if when I pointed at the girl and blaming her unsensible
At the end the boy will say: Don't you know? This is what we called ROMANTIC
You know what. I will throw a flying kick to you and laughing at your ignorance

The Distance

I looked at the sky. It is high.

I looked at the mountain. It is tall.

I looked at the sea. It is deep.

I looked at you and me. It is far.

The height is higher than the sky.

The altitude is taller than any mountain.

The depth is deeper than any sea. Even deeper than Marina trench.

The distance is farther than the Arctic circle.

I could not reach you though you are just beside me.

I could not reach you though I can see you in Facebook.

The gap is harsh.

The door is locked.

The wall is bulky.

Still, I could not reach you though you are just beside me.

I chose to abnegate.

I chose to shout nothing and blame nothing.

I chose to return to where I from.

I am what I am. Then.

< The End>

When it is critical period...

I am not angry

I am not complaining

I am not emo-ing

Yet please do things according to what we have discussed

Please listen to what the tutor told us and do it properly

Please do not try to finish it fast but not doing well

I would rather you be slow work but come out with tidy and neat outcome

However do not be too slow...I am tired....

心痛-ing

悲伤至心痛，曾几何时，这个感觉已不再陌生
很多时候，心里的那一股悲痛感会莫名的油然升起
悲伤是麻雀的朋友，虽不时常与之为伴
然而却亦不陌生
麻雀习惯了它的存在，也从不隐瞒其存在
麻雀喜欢悲痛，虽然它是痛苦的，但它也是甜的（否则我们又怎样知道甜的滋味）
是谁标签了这样的味道应该是甜？
又是谁告诉我们那个味道应该是苦？
甜与苦，就那么一线之差，差别就在于你的心怎么取决
乐观的人说人生是美好的，每一天是甜
既然哭着、笑着都要过生活
管它绊脚石抑或挫折
那还是笑着，快乐过生活吧；
悲观的人皱着紧锁着的眉头，说这个人生是痛苦的
悲观的人眼里的世界是灰色的
悲观的人看彩虹是单一色的，因为他看不到色彩
既然世界那么不美丽，那么不美好，或许活着是浪费的
可怕的绊脚石还有痛苦的重重挫折
那还是苦着，悲伤地勉强度过剩下的日子吧
佛陀说人生本是苦
哇哇落地那时开始，我们就要面对生、离、死、别的痛苦
你说人生不苦吗?
哀伤，是难免的
哀伤，是必然的
哀伤，是逃不开的
哀伤，就看你会怎么定义它
在没有办法避开它的时候，我们惟有面对它，接受它，处理它，放下它 （圣严法师）
倘若你不面对他，你永远逃不过哀伤
喜欢它吧~
麻雀喜欢悲伤，那是因为它总是扮演着一个角色，告诉麻雀你该看看你自己的心咯
虽然总是找不到悲痛的理由
朋友说麻雀emo咯，然而这不是emo，因为麻雀也不知道悲痛的来源
它，就是那么突如其来
那么的一个不速之客，不请自来
接受它吧~
让你的心，痛一痛，哭一哭，洗一洗
好啦，麻雀要继续赶那令人费心爆肝的阿塞们了~

当耗子的日子

耗子啊耗子 你怎么那么贪心
左拥而右抱 你之强烈企图心

耗子啊耗子 珍馐cheese尽摆眼前
然不满于其 而不住往外攀岩

耗子啊耗子 枉那老农予黍子
不食还推辞 农人赔黍又失计

耗子啊耗子 蚊虫自在飞于空
则一箭至之 粉了自由碎于空

耗子啊耗子 穿梭胡同惯于中
遇担则避之 总拥自由于怀中

耗子了汝心 耕耘还需那苦心
然还辜汝心 耗子一世愧于心

耗子了彼忧 受众推上未筑墙
然晓彼质优 方决推彼上城墙

余无让之费 必能完其还易举
余欲赠彼言 余必赴汤蹈火乎

--六月飞霜笔

贰拾陆日拾壹月贰零壹零年(写于）

遗恨

昨夜星辰遍布
吾心无心欣赏
漫漫长夜呜呼
迢迢长路苍苍
自扪吾心恐怖


然果已泄出
吾心挂碍故
而已所得苦
然欲哭无处
谁人知其苦


故得习得放下
莫望坐拥无数
须知知足当下
焉知熊掌与鱼
食其味不分上下
却难两全


坐此席而望高山
吾人唯呜呼哀哉

---六月飞霜笔
贰拾寺日拾壹月贰零壹零