心里，愤愤起伏着
这是个怎么样的感觉
麻雀其实不知道怎么去诠释她
是感动，是激动，是感恩，是想要
这几天，麻雀过得太好了
不知道从哪赚来的福报显现
麻雀这个月内连续接触了三大传承的佛教师父/仁波切/喇嘛
现在说起，心还是愤愤地（这里的愤愤并非生气不平，而是心情很是激昂）
月头，麻雀飞去了在怡保办的明就仁波切的开心禅
那是麻雀平生第一次接触藏传佛教
也是那么一次发现禅修就是生活
无修就是一种禅修
也第一次听藏传佛教的仁波切开示，太幸运了
开心回来的一个星期多以后
佛学院的继兴法师也很慈悲地答应红老板的邀约到来金宝，给我们开示
那一天，法师也携带了踏遍各地旅游的杰尼菲到来跟我们分享她的经历
在场，很多人都很追崇杰尼菲的生活，但多少个人能够实践呢
麻雀我有能否从麻妈那里取得准证飞行？
上个星期日麻雀去了太平，在太平护法苑的Bhante Kumara到来金宝
再一次，我们请到了慈悲的Bhante Kumara到来为我们慈心日的筹委会和理事们开示
这一次，我是负责请Bhante的那个人
因此感受特别深刻
Bhante由原本的不能到后来的可以
对于这些我很是感动
也更确信了有愿就有力
到了这个星期二
由于是公共假期因此跟着朋友们到Tambun去探望了喇嘛赞巴（译名）
就这样度过了很法喜的假期
麻雀。。。或许。。喜欢这样的生活。。。
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Friday, March 18, 2011
This is what my tiny eyes saw
I went to a film screening yesterday. The film are shot by the media guy, Chou Z Lam.People will usually provide the background of one when they mentioned of one yet I am not going to do this. As I always know you guys can google it. (hiak hiak hiak)
This is not the first time for me seeing Mr Chou. The first time is in a talk which held by Chinese Institute and this time is held by SRC. He was talking of his experience in the media industry and also his concern of Bakun Dam. This time, he showed us the film he shot in Bakun Dam. His effort is really deserved our applaud and appreciate. As the government keeps ignoring the orang asli and now there is someone help them to express their voice and thought.
I am touching, from the bottom of my heart. The society, the minority always needs someone like Mr Chou, who willing to spend his whole life(perhaps) to let the people to understand them, and even the government.
Let's sincerely hope that one day, the government is willing to hear the orang asli's voice, but not hear the sound from money.
There was a Q & A session and Ms. Por has raised a question that make me think so long. Honestly, I have forgotten what exactly Ms Por asked and perhaps my thinking then has already out of the topic. And this is probably because of recently I was doing the news comparing and found all media, included alternative media also have their own agenda.
They hide/put no emphasize on some issues and put a magnifier on their favourite issues. I started to feel the uncomfortable environment a journalist will face in the real world. We are reading theory, textbook in the university. The media environment that we learned in our university is perhaps very ideal. We study media ethics and so on. We are shouting for media freedom in this ideal environment. Yet when we are going out from this protected environment, are we still shouting for it? or bury the thought deep inside our brain or under the material what we called money.
When we were dropped from the agency where we worked for, only we dare to shout it loud. This is what happening in this capitalism world. We will never say no to benefit when we were inside the industry, Haw Yeen told me today, even though if you were indeed zeal in changing the phenomenon, you worked hard and when you reached that level, you will probably changed your mind. This is true and an unchangeable truth. As long as there are money and people, you will never can change the media world. Poor people has nothing to lose thus they fight for their rights. Rich people scared their rights were threaten thus they use money to trample the poor people's rights.
I always think that the function of journalist is to report the truth and not giving any agenda or even angle. For me, angle is agenda. Angle is that you write or shoot something from some angle which means there is something you will probably highlight. Thus I dislike this style. You will say I am too straight but I can't stand the grey area.
I will not in this industry too long. Perhaps will only stay for three months during my internship or maybe I will change my mind in the future. Who knows?
As far, I see my direction. You will probably say I am a reporter but I believe I am more suitable for social movement. I do hope that I can join the team (Mr Chou's team). I will make it after I experienced all I wanted to then only I will spend my whole life in helping people who need to be empowered.
This is not the first time for me seeing Mr Chou. The first time is in a talk which held by Chinese Institute and this time is held by SRC. He was talking of his experience in the media industry and also his concern of Bakun Dam. This time, he showed us the film he shot in Bakun Dam. His effort is really deserved our applaud and appreciate. As the government keeps ignoring the orang asli and now there is someone help them to express their voice and thought.
I am touching, from the bottom of my heart. The society, the minority always needs someone like Mr Chou, who willing to spend his whole life(perhaps) to let the people to understand them, and even the government.
Let's sincerely hope that one day, the government is willing to hear the orang asli's voice, but not hear the sound from money.
There was a Q & A session and Ms. Por has raised a question that make me think so long. Honestly, I have forgotten what exactly Ms Por asked and perhaps my thinking then has already out of the topic. And this is probably because of recently I was doing the news comparing and found all media, included alternative media also have their own agenda.
They hide/put no emphasize on some issues and put a magnifier on their favourite issues. I started to feel the uncomfortable environment a journalist will face in the real world. We are reading theory, textbook in the university. The media environment that we learned in our university is perhaps very ideal. We study media ethics and so on. We are shouting for media freedom in this ideal environment. Yet when we are going out from this protected environment, are we still shouting for it? or bury the thought deep inside our brain or under the material what we called money.
When we were dropped from the agency where we worked for, only we dare to shout it loud. This is what happening in this capitalism world. We will never say no to benefit when we were inside the industry, Haw Yeen told me today, even though if you were indeed zeal in changing the phenomenon, you worked hard and when you reached that level, you will probably changed your mind. This is true and an unchangeable truth. As long as there are money and people, you will never can change the media world. Poor people has nothing to lose thus they fight for their rights. Rich people scared their rights were threaten thus they use money to trample the poor people's rights.
I always think that the function of journalist is to report the truth and not giving any agenda or even angle. For me, angle is agenda. Angle is that you write or shoot something from some angle which means there is something you will probably highlight. Thus I dislike this style. You will say I am too straight but I can't stand the grey area.
I will not in this industry too long. Perhaps will only stay for three months during my internship or maybe I will change my mind in the future. Who knows?
As far, I see my direction. You will probably say I am a reporter but I believe I am more suitable for social movement. I do hope that I can join the team (Mr Chou's team). I will make it after I experienced all I wanted to then only I will spend my whole life in helping people who need to be empowered.
Monday, March 14, 2011
我是一只爱面子的麻雀
我学不会动不动都向别人“称”苦
我学不会随便告诉别人自己的难处
除非是和我相熟的人
我是一只脸皮薄的麻雀
我学不会动不动就哭丧着脸投诉那投诉这 （除非事情太严重）
我学不会轻易道出自己的弱点，因为我知道我可以做得更好
我学不会向别人道出他人的弱点， 因为我自己还有进步的空间
除非你和我谈得很来
我是一只傻性子的麻雀
我学不会告诉你我有多忙
我学不会轻易拒绝别人的请求 （做到没有又是另一回事）
我有时甚至学不会什么是麻烦，什么是困苦
除非我们很熟识
但是当我发现自己被讲得很委屈时
我还是会觉得痛苦 不甘
因为你从来不了解别人的处境
就随便用那不屑的语气训人
我始终
是那只爱面子的麻雀
是那只脸皮薄的麻雀
是那只傻性子的麻雀
我学不会动不动都向别人“称”苦
我学不会随便告诉别人自己的难处
除非是和我相熟的人
我是一只脸皮薄的麻雀
我学不会动不动就哭丧着脸投诉那投诉这 （除非事情太严重）
我学不会轻易道出自己的弱点，因为我知道我可以做得更好
我学不会向别人道出他人的弱点， 因为我自己还有进步的空间
除非你和我谈得很来
我是一只傻性子的麻雀
我学不会告诉你我有多忙
我学不会轻易拒绝别人的请求 （做到没有又是另一回事）
我有时甚至学不会什么是麻烦，什么是困苦
除非我们很熟识
但是当我发现自己被讲得很委屈时
我还是会觉得痛苦 不甘
因为你从来不了解别人的处境
就随便用那不屑的语气训人
我始终
是那只爱面子的麻雀
是那只脸皮薄的麻雀
是那只傻性子的麻雀
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
孤独者
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| Photo by Oh Chin Eng |
夜晚，那么深
心情，也总是那么沉
也是，在这么深的夜里，灵感纷飞
也是，在那么沉的心里，特别脆弱
这个夜里，多少人醒着
这个静寂，又多少个人享受着
音乐回荡着，脑袋却空荡着
越夜精彩着，心情却空寂着
我这个多情的孤独者，想要自由却害怕寂寞
我这个孤独的多情者，追崇单身却那么轻易，陷入
不允许背叛 不容许脱轨 不轻易松懈 不准许遗忘
我那个渺小而伟大 轻狂而谨慎 认真而自大
的小小冀望
这个天空，载着多少梦想
这片土壤，盛着多少理想
话语回响着，脑袋却空置着
越爱深陷着，感情更空虚呢
夜晚，那么深
心情，更甚的那么沉
也是，在这么深的夜里，更是看清了自己
也是，在那么沉的心里，我变得更加坚强
Happy International Women's Day
It was the International Women's Day yesterday (which is about two hours ago when I blogging this). And it was the significant day of the oppositional party in Malaysia three years ago. And it also refers to a "Freedom Striving Day". I saw a news in Sinchew Daily (online) and there is an article regarding women in the Middle East countries who stand out to the street and fight for their freedom, from ladies dressed in T-shirt and jeans to ladies who in black Hijab.
I felt extremely touching when I saw the word of "hijab". I have always read that Muslim women are conservative and they are just obey to their husband. To them, freedom is nothing and perhaps impossible for them in their whole life. However, when I read this, I know women nowadays, are empowered.
Women are trying to stand up and saying that " We are actually capable and we have our right to decide our faith and even involve in the movement of transforming the world."
Women's right, is to enjoy the basic liberty like men enjoying. Everyone are equal and share the common perception and mindset, but not only all about men, in a country. I feel appreciated as the country that I stay does not have such restrictions.
Yet, to clarify, many women who chasing for women's right, mistaken the rights as to control men, to step them under women's feet. To ask them obeying to women. This is something that I strongly disagree with, though I am a lady (not woman yet), and I even despising it. This is no longer called women's right but women's arrogant. We shout for equality between man and woman, but those are practicing the contrary behaviour. Then what is equality?
I understand, in some ways, woman couldn't alike man, in terms of physical strength for example. However, in this technology booming era, everything can be overcame with just a "click" or in this civilize society, everything is not a problem with a brain.
Equality and freedom....Let us work together to accomplish a society with equality and freedom.
And it is time for me to get back in my assignment. All the best~
Sentence of the week
The sentence that impressed me a lot this week is not " Go fuck yourself with your atom boom" which I heard from Communication Law lecturer but " I know you guys don't like politics" from the lecturer of Politics and the Media.
It sounds sarcastic especially when words came from Mr. Kuan who showed us the website of "Lao Zha Bo" from Singapore later and said we like that kind of website than political's.
Although I know many students on the spot are actually enthusiastic in Politics yet at the same time, many people are sharing the mindset like what Mr. Kuan said. I could not admit that I chose to minor in Advertising because of my hatred toward politics and frightened of the evil face of the politicians. Yet I just can't deny that I have started falling in love with Politics, of course not involving but studying.
Nonetheless, the zeal still could not pull me out from the hatred of politics, especially the incident happened currently that made me questioning the trustworthiness of a politician. Yet as a professional journalist (to-be), I will not resist from taking any job that deal with politicians (such as interviewing them), and I will try my best to uphold the profession of a journalist.
"Jama" (Jamaluddin Ibrahim) has established an online radio channel which named "DurianFm.com". The concept of the radio channel is good which is to uphold the basic liberty of the people- Freedom of speech. As one who cherished for freedom, I am fully supporting him (that I have even purposely search for the radio channel website and click "like"). However, I sincerely hope that he can keep his concept straight. Freedom of speech doesn't mean to attacking government. It is about objectivity and telling the truth. It is pretty annoying if the media criticizing one just because to criticize but ignoring one's contributions. Then it is nothing different from the mainstream media which controlled by the ruling party. Then it is not more what we call it "Freedom of speech". Let's wish "DurianFm.com" to operate smoothly and successfully achieve their mission.
Let's sama-same upholding our basic liberty~
Freedom, long live~
Thursday, March 3, 2011
无助
当你想要关心某人，但你却没有资格关心
无奈
当你想要照顾某人，但你却没有资格表示
无助
当你想要某人好， 但却说不出口，做不到
无奈
当你表示你的关心，某人却不会接受这个关心
再累，再忙，也是要吃东西啊
再辛苦，再麻烦，吃了东西，才有能量继续走下去
明明自己的健康都不好了，还要逞强，还不懂得照顾自己
麻雀，祝福你~ 等下可以来得及醒过来，过来吃个晚餐。。。。
Helpless
Is when you intended to concern of one Yet you are not qualified to do so
Impotent
Is when you wanted to take care of one Yet you could not do so
Helpless
Is when you wished one be good Yet you are incapable to tell one
Impotent
Is when you showed your solicitude Yet one happen not to appreciate the caring
One has to eat no matter how busy, how tired you are
One has to eat in order to live better no matter how tired, how troublesome it is
I see you do not have a good health and healthy stomach but you are still do not know to care of yourself
I wish you.
旅行札记
觉得，
每一次的旅行，总是更了解自己了
觉得，
每一次的旅行，总是更清楚自己的梦想
觉得，
每一次的旅行，也总是把我跟现实拉地更近
那一次，从跟风学长借的宥勝著《你，就是冒险王》一书，我看到一个跟自己颇为相应的字眼
书中说到的其中一个过客，旅行为追求那极致的孤独感
“孤独感”这看似寂寞却又壮丽的名词
我还是第一次看到原来有人旅行，就为寻得那孤独
然而，往后这个名词，竟因那一次的邂逅后，不断晃过我脑海
原来，那只不是一个书中的书写故事，它是一个生活
经过一次次的旅行，我，何尝不也是总在找寻孤独的机会
我想要独个儿起床，往外跑，看这片土地
我想要不理旅伴，不断往前走，寻找自己的视野地图
我想要摆开自己依赖别人的个性，做个自立自足的旅人
原来，我也在寻找，一个孤独的人生
原来，我也在追求，一个人的出走
这几天，通过一件小事，我看到了自己对他人的依赖
总是在高呼单身主义的我，却同时也在沉溺于依赖他人的池塘里
这几天，我在不同的三天里，遇到了三只不同的蟑螂，也就是我最害怕的生物
在人前，我示出自己的崩溃，自己的懦弱，自己的恐慌
喊之余，还是喊，加上快跑
在人后，一个人的我，遇上那蟑螂时，
喊之余，我还会把蟑螂赶走
我明白，一个人的生活，喊了还是得自己学会面对困境
我也总是沉醉在，很多人的生活里，喊了就指望身边人的援助
我知道，我总有长大的那一天，我总有蜕变的日子
然
我觊觎的自由天空，什么时候，我才能伸手即得
我垂涎的一个人之旅，什么时候，我成为唯一的指挥官
不再，不在，我的双掌之外
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
My dream
I went to consult Ms Tang, again today. Recently it is quite frequent for me to go visiting her, for my final year project, as well as my internship stuffs.
I went to her is actually to hand her our course structure. She wants to see the subjects we take.
We have an hour chat today, which is fruitful.
Hoho, tell you. My supervisor is not a simple lady. She was the chief editor of Jakarta Sinchew Daily.
Before this, she went to Australia to further her study. She has her internship in Australia, as well as in China for few years.
She is really an amazing and wonderful one. She said that she likes to go oversea, to live, to work.
She shares her life in Jakarta and the media agency from the three different system.
And of course, she does share her opinion towards my ambition, or what I called 'dream'.
She agrees with my dream which I can learn even more if I have my internship oversea. And agrees with my thinking that I want to view Cambodia in the eyes of people living there, but not through a tourist's eyes.
However, she points out some disadvantages which that it is not worth for me to do internship oversea for only four months. She told I must have passed through the process of coping out in a totally new living environment, as well as working environment. Plus, the problem of accommodation is all under uncertainty that I do not know whether the press can provide me hostel or not. To overcome all this drawbacks, it actually costs me quite a lot.
So, is my dream workable?
Is my dream rational?
I am curious.
I starts hesitating with my insist.
I went to her is actually to hand her our course structure. She wants to see the subjects we take.
We have an hour chat today, which is fruitful.
Hoho, tell you. My supervisor is not a simple lady. She was the chief editor of Jakarta Sinchew Daily.
Before this, she went to Australia to further her study. She has her internship in Australia, as well as in China for few years.
She is really an amazing and wonderful one. She said that she likes to go oversea, to live, to work.
She shares her life in Jakarta and the media agency from the three different system.
And of course, she does share her opinion towards my ambition, or what I called 'dream'.
She agrees with my dream which I can learn even more if I have my internship oversea. And agrees with my thinking that I want to view Cambodia in the eyes of people living there, but not through a tourist's eyes.
However, she points out some disadvantages which that it is not worth for me to do internship oversea for only four months. She told I must have passed through the process of coping out in a totally new living environment, as well as working environment. Plus, the problem of accommodation is all under uncertainty that I do not know whether the press can provide me hostel or not. To overcome all this drawbacks, it actually costs me quite a lot.
So, is my dream workable?
Is my dream rational?
I am curious.
I starts hesitating with my insist.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
只想为梦想
人因梦想而伟大，然而有多少人可以成为这个伟人呢？
这几天，梦想，一直环绕着我。或许毕业在即，也还有在实习将即的情况下
世上的几亿万个人中，多少个人，能够一直坚持自己的梦想
麻雀身边的几百个朋友中，有多少个人，可以循着自己的梦想，渐进
很多人的梦想，总是摆在与现实一起的天称上后，就被活生生地打碎了
梦想碎了，心也碎了
剩下的，只是留在现实社会的一个空壳，一个没有梦想的躯体
前天，在洗碗时，和佛学会一个朋友聊了一小段
虽然简短，但却感动了我
她是读会计学的，麻雀问她会难吗，会辛苦吗。
她说会，没想到还要背那么多，原本以为只是思考数学
进而，麻雀问她既然如此，为什么会选择这个科目？
她说，这是她从小到大的梦想，因此她想坚持
我，嘴停了，心动了
我被她的那简短的谈话所感动
曾几何时，我想当警察，我想当医生，我想当律师
可是我不曾坚持，也不曾多想
麻雀，在她身旁，是多么得卑不可多看
我替她骄傲，替她高兴，也祝福她~
刚才，妈妈打给麻雀了，循我的要求
麻雀告诉了麻妈，麻雀的梦想
没想到，妈妈一口就拒绝了
我。。哭了
妈。。也哭了
两把吸索鼻涕的声音在话筒两端响起
麻雀说了，“我只想追求自己的梦想”
麻雀其实也知道妈妈也有梦想，妈妈的梦想或许就是希望孩子在身旁陪伴着她
妈妈说，就安安稳稳地找份工作，有好的收入，难道不好吗？
我想说，每个人的价值观都不一样，他们想要物质上的满足，我想要的是心里的满足
可，我说不出口，因为觉得自己好自私
可是。。。我真的只想追求自己的梦想
我也不想让妈妈起烦恼，可是我还是想坚持自己的梦想
麻雀想起了，有愿就有力，这句话
这句话，总是在我遇上障碍时就蹦出来
这句话，是祥和Yeah的一个学长赠给我的
或许他不知道这句话对我是那么大的帮助
可是因为有愿就有力，麻雀带领了80个筹委办成了祥和Yeah
因为有愿就有力，麻雀坚持了两个小时的行程，和友人骑着铁马到Lata Kinjang
所以麻雀一直坚信这句静思语，因为有了愿，有了梦想，才让你更有勇气，更充满力量地走下去
这一次的人生之旅，麻雀也要贪婪地抱着这句话，勇敢地走下去
也把大家的祝福与鼓励，一个一个地收进背包，带着他们，跟着我的脚步，随着麻雀的翅膀，努力地往梦想走去~
麻雀，加油！
这几天，梦想，一直环绕着我。或许毕业在即，也还有在实习将即的情况下
世上的几亿万个人中，多少个人，能够一直坚持自己的梦想
麻雀身边的几百个朋友中，有多少个人，可以循着自己的梦想，渐进
很多人的梦想，总是摆在与现实一起的天称上后，就被活生生地打碎了
梦想碎了，心也碎了
剩下的，只是留在现实社会的一个空壳，一个没有梦想的躯体
前天，在洗碗时，和佛学会一个朋友聊了一小段
虽然简短，但却感动了我
她是读会计学的，麻雀问她会难吗，会辛苦吗。
她说会，没想到还要背那么多，原本以为只是思考数学
进而，麻雀问她既然如此，为什么会选择这个科目？
她说，这是她从小到大的梦想，因此她想坚持
我，嘴停了，心动了
我被她的那简短的谈话所感动
曾几何时，我想当警察，我想当医生，我想当律师
可是我不曾坚持，也不曾多想
麻雀，在她身旁，是多么得卑不可多看
我替她骄傲，替她高兴，也祝福她~
刚才，妈妈打给麻雀了，循我的要求
麻雀告诉了麻妈，麻雀的梦想
没想到，妈妈一口就拒绝了
我。。哭了
妈。。也哭了
两把吸索鼻涕的声音在话筒两端响起
麻雀说了，“我只想追求自己的梦想”
麻雀其实也知道妈妈也有梦想，妈妈的梦想或许就是希望孩子在身旁陪伴着她
妈妈说，就安安稳稳地找份工作，有好的收入，难道不好吗？
我想说，每个人的价值观都不一样，他们想要物质上的满足，我想要的是心里的满足
可，我说不出口，因为觉得自己好自私
可是。。。我真的只想追求自己的梦想
我也不想让妈妈起烦恼，可是我还是想坚持自己的梦想
麻雀想起了，有愿就有力，这句话
这句话，总是在我遇上障碍时就蹦出来
这句话，是祥和Yeah的一个学长赠给我的
或许他不知道这句话对我是那么大的帮助
可是因为有愿就有力，麻雀带领了80个筹委办成了祥和Yeah
因为有愿就有力，麻雀坚持了两个小时的行程，和友人骑着铁马到Lata Kinjang
所以麻雀一直坚信这句静思语，因为有了愿，有了梦想，才让你更有勇气，更充满力量地走下去
这一次的人生之旅，麻雀也要贪婪地抱着这句话，勇敢地走下去
也把大家的祝福与鼓励，一个一个地收进背包，带着他们，跟着我的脚步，随着麻雀的翅膀，努力地往梦想走去~
麻雀，加油！
Friday, February 18, 2011
I want to be strong
I am concerning of my internship stuffs this few days. I wish to reach my dream yet it seems near yet far. It seems reachable yet distant. I do not know what bear inside my mind.
I wish to have my internship in Cambodia Sinchew Daily. Everything ran so smooth that the day when I got to know there is Sinchew Daily branch in Cambodia. The few days after it, I got to know that my supervisor is closely related to my dream. She was the chief editor of Sinchew Daily in Jakarta and she knows some friends who contact with Cambodia branch. How smooth it is, I tell you.
I told her my wish. She gave me some advices and suggestions. She promised me to ask Cambodia branch once I have made my decision.
Yet, things that always annoying me is people are always underestimate on girls' strength. If you went to Cambodia alone, you will get raped. This is a truth happened in Cambodia when a western lady having her backpack travel in Cambodia and she was tricked by a monk who raped her all after that. Why always ladies are the weak character? A friend told me that if I went to Cambodia alone, it is very dangerous. The reason is because you are girl. If boy ah, no problem. Who are interested in a guy?
I did not answer. Safety problem is always not in my consideration when I made decision. I know how to take care of myself, just then people always think I am weak and soft.
I dislike being over protected by people like a sunflower in the green house. I dislike being doubt of my strength and ability. I just don't like to be sympathy by others that I actually good enough.
Friends, if you know me, please trust me. And please help me to achieve my aim to be strong.
I will prove to you, someday, sometime that girls are not weaker.
I wish to have my internship in Cambodia Sinchew Daily. Everything ran so smooth that the day when I got to know there is Sinchew Daily branch in Cambodia. The few days after it, I got to know that my supervisor is closely related to my dream. She was the chief editor of Sinchew Daily in Jakarta and she knows some friends who contact with Cambodia branch. How smooth it is, I tell you.
I told her my wish. She gave me some advices and suggestions. She promised me to ask Cambodia branch once I have made my decision.
Yet, things that always annoying me is people are always underestimate on girls' strength. If you went to Cambodia alone, you will get raped. This is a truth happened in Cambodia when a western lady having her backpack travel in Cambodia and she was tricked by a monk who raped her all after that. Why always ladies are the weak character? A friend told me that if I went to Cambodia alone, it is very dangerous. The reason is because you are girl. If boy ah, no problem. Who are interested in a guy?
I did not answer. Safety problem is always not in my consideration when I made decision. I know how to take care of myself, just then people always think I am weak and soft.
I dislike being over protected by people like a sunflower in the green house. I dislike being doubt of my strength and ability. I just don't like to be sympathy by others that I actually good enough.
Friends, if you know me, please trust me. And please help me to achieve my aim to be strong.
I will prove to you, someday, sometime that girls are not weaker.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
重返杰安
久违地为杰安“出诊”。。有一个月近两个月没有担当记者的工作了。
这一次要采访的对象是考试部门，内容是考试成绩单的事情。
麻雀还是一样，很是欢喜地去cover，只是这一次，身份有点变了。
麻雀已经不再是以前的Junior，现在已经当了人家的senior。。。senior这个头衔有点重，因为大家学习的都是一样，只是我踏入大学比他们早那么几个月时间。
当然，这一次身为“蛮”资深的杰安记者，麻雀带了学弟采访去了。
只是。。。
原来考试部门并不知道杰安的存在，麻雀想我是第一个铲上这个部门的学生记者。
原本以为很快就会解决了的新闻，在有关单位拒绝麻雀的进一步访问且要求麻雀致信给有关单门最大负责人的情况下，竟然比想象中快得更多。。。=,=
无奈的是，麻雀刚骑着铁马回到东湖，忽地看到学弟提早放学而又赶回去学校，然而结果却是这样。
拖着无可奈何的脚步，麻雀沉重地骑着铁马回家，想着自己怎么那么“衰”
然而，就在麻雀抵达家里的五角基之际，原本炎热如沙漠的天气，竟然下起滴滴大雨
无奈的心情，霎时烟消魂散。原来我才是最幸运的那一个。
另外，一个让麻雀印象深刻的是，我这个学长，还要被学弟嫌，真是的~~~~~
这一次要采访的对象是考试部门，内容是考试成绩单的事情。
麻雀还是一样，很是欢喜地去cover，只是这一次，身份有点变了。
麻雀已经不再是以前的Junior，现在已经当了人家的senior。。。senior这个头衔有点重，因为大家学习的都是一样，只是我踏入大学比他们早那么几个月时间。
当然，这一次身为“蛮”资深的杰安记者，麻雀带了学弟采访去了。
只是。。。
原来考试部门并不知道杰安的存在，麻雀想我是第一个铲上这个部门的学生记者。
原本以为很快就会解决了的新闻，在有关单位拒绝麻雀的进一步访问且要求麻雀致信给有关单门最大负责人的情况下，竟然比想象中快得更多。。。=,=
无奈的是，麻雀刚骑着铁马回到东湖，忽地看到学弟提早放学而又赶回去学校，然而结果却是这样。
拖着无可奈何的脚步，麻雀沉重地骑着铁马回家，想着自己怎么那么“衰”
然而，就在麻雀抵达家里的五角基之际，原本炎热如沙漠的天气，竟然下起滴滴大雨
无奈的心情，霎时烟消魂散。原来我才是最幸运的那一个。
另外，一个让麻雀印象深刻的是，我这个学长，还要被学弟嫌，真是的~~~~~
后记：
这时候，发现自己很不想那么快长大。以前总是被senior们guide着，现在却换了角色。我，要毕业了~
与大家共勉之，
时时把每一次当成是一个学习机会
以一颗谦卑的心去学习
诚实面对自己的不足
才是真正的学习
Thursday, February 10, 2011
拜佛
这一天，出席了久违的佛学会活动。一个学期断（sem break) + 新年，没有到法悦阁上课了。
成佛之道，这次是第一次上课。之前有想过中途插班，但毕竟在下资质低，唯恐跟不上进度，因此迟迟不敢去。直至这个学期，沾了人家的脸皮，就厚着脸皮，硬着头皮，去上课。虽然前面的内容都没上到，但还是可以听得懂课程，谁叫政纲老师讲得好！
课程开始前，老师让我们拜佛了。记得第一次拜佛，是在去年的辅导员培训营。那一次，第一次体验到那么慢的拜佛方式，当然那时候的麻雀，没有很投入于其。一直想着几时结束。只是越是想着结束，时间就越难熬。接下来，也有几次拜佛的机会，那时候已经习惯这么慢的拜佛，因此也没有再心烦着几时结束。
真正爱上拜佛，是在静修营。第一次觉得拜佛时间，不够长不够慢。第一次觉得拜佛可以那么享受，那么愉悦。细细地观察自己身体的动作，每一个细微的变化。同时观察自己心里。
这一次的拜佛，麻雀找不到那阵子的喜悦。心里，一直不停地在跑，一直跑，越跑脚步越混乱，悦跑就越远。心是那么的乱，那么的不安。麻雀不断尝试着让自己专注于当下，然，心就越抓，跑地越快。这时候，才发现自己多久没有好好关注自己的心了。不知道自己在想什么，生活就这样一直盲目地跑。人家叫我做什么，就做什么。失去了人生的方向。麻雀，你在做什么？
总是盲目地坐在电脑前。盲目地赶着去上课（这几天一直迟到）。这阵子，睡眠质量差了。到了深夜的四点，原本该累得倒床就睡，但我却没有。翻转难眠的长夜陪伴着麻雀，直到要天亮，身体才慢慢进入休息状态，可是天亮也意示着要上课了，谁叫这几天都是八点上课。迟到就盲目地赶着时间。今天甚至翘课了，但却有个好眠~
这几天，过得很累。拜佛时，麻雀才看到了。原来自己那么漫无目的。
也发现到自己一直都忘了自己之前发愿要天天静坐了。
是时候，该从迷茫中醒来了。也该实践自己发的愿！
加油了，麻雀！
成佛之道，这次是第一次上课。之前有想过中途插班，但毕竟在下资质低，唯恐跟不上进度，因此迟迟不敢去。直至这个学期，沾了人家的脸皮，就厚着脸皮，硬着头皮，去上课。虽然前面的内容都没上到，但还是可以听得懂课程，谁叫政纲老师讲得好！
课程开始前，老师让我们拜佛了。记得第一次拜佛，是在去年的辅导员培训营。那一次，第一次体验到那么慢的拜佛方式，当然那时候的麻雀，没有很投入于其。一直想着几时结束。只是越是想着结束，时间就越难熬。接下来，也有几次拜佛的机会，那时候已经习惯这么慢的拜佛，因此也没有再心烦着几时结束。
真正爱上拜佛，是在静修营。第一次觉得拜佛时间，不够长不够慢。第一次觉得拜佛可以那么享受，那么愉悦。细细地观察自己身体的动作，每一个细微的变化。同时观察自己心里。
这一次的拜佛，麻雀找不到那阵子的喜悦。心里，一直不停地在跑，一直跑，越跑脚步越混乱，悦跑就越远。心是那么的乱，那么的不安。麻雀不断尝试着让自己专注于当下，然，心就越抓，跑地越快。这时候，才发现自己多久没有好好关注自己的心了。不知道自己在想什么，生活就这样一直盲目地跑。人家叫我做什么，就做什么。失去了人生的方向。麻雀，你在做什么？
总是盲目地坐在电脑前。盲目地赶着去上课（这几天一直迟到）。这阵子，睡眠质量差了。到了深夜的四点，原本该累得倒床就睡，但我却没有。翻转难眠的长夜陪伴着麻雀，直到要天亮，身体才慢慢进入休息状态，可是天亮也意示着要上课了，谁叫这几天都是八点上课。迟到就盲目地赶着时间。今天甚至翘课了，但却有个好眠~
这几天，过得很累。拜佛时，麻雀才看到了。原来自己那么漫无目的。
也发现到自己一直都忘了自己之前发愿要天天静坐了。
是时候，该从迷茫中醒来了。也该实践自己发的愿！
加油了，麻雀！
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Keep the root...
Our former neighbour visited us last night. It is an Indian family. The only way for us, the two families to keep in touch is when the festive season come and we tend to visit each others' house every year. We went to their house during Deepavali and vice versa that they visit us during Chinese New Year even though we have moved out from Taman Andalas where we stayed previously.
Uncle Morgan, the father of the family is a nice old man ( who actually not looking old). He talked a lot to my brother last night, about politic. I hate politic. My hatred towards it can be seen through my selection of minoring Advertising instead of political science. However, I do love to listen political issues as an entertainment.
I feel pleasure too when listening people around me talk about politic. I, sometimes hate myself for being so dislike politic and so unfamiliar with the politic, especially Malaysia's politic, but I can't help. Thus when I know people around me are care of the politic of Malaysia, I am indeed happy for them. At least someone care for the country.
This is same to the conversation between Uncle Morgan and my brother. Uncle Morgan who as an Indian. felt the inequality of the races, in terms of any application from government, power to speak and so on. He was disappointed with the government and also care of the population of Chinese and Indian. He has even encouraged my sister and brother to get marry and give birth in order to increase the population of our root.
However, to the dismay, many people, especially Chinese, refuse to have more kids due to the financial burden and also their own freedom. They feel that their freedom is being tied after having kids. Some, even do not want to get marry, to pursue their dream.
Many Chinese nowadays refuse to receive Chinese education. One of my Primary school classmate even said that he doesn't want to study Chinese. When every Chinese in our country holds this perception, will there any Chinese school or Chinese based organisation be conducted in our country? Is Chinese New Year will be celebrated in Malaysia anymore? The blood of Chinese is flowing in our body. The mind of Chinese we are having, though being modernized. We should always be proud of being a Chinese, and even be proud of being a Malaysian.
My brother told us that many Chinese intend to move oversea. They said Malaysia does not appreciate genius. However, they will never know how the foreign countries look at whom are moving to their country. Even though they are rich enough to move to their country yet they will only be the second class resident of the country, always.
I wonder, if this circumstance sustains and not get any improved, what will be happened to our Chinese community in the future.
Uncle Morgan, the father of the family is a nice old man ( who actually not looking old). He talked a lot to my brother last night, about politic. I hate politic. My hatred towards it can be seen through my selection of minoring Advertising instead of political science. However, I do love to listen political issues as an entertainment.
I feel pleasure too when listening people around me talk about politic. I, sometimes hate myself for being so dislike politic and so unfamiliar with the politic, especially Malaysia's politic, but I can't help. Thus when I know people around me are care of the politic of Malaysia, I am indeed happy for them. At least someone care for the country.
This is same to the conversation between Uncle Morgan and my brother. Uncle Morgan who as an Indian. felt the inequality of the races, in terms of any application from government, power to speak and so on. He was disappointed with the government and also care of the population of Chinese and Indian. He has even encouraged my sister and brother to get marry and give birth in order to increase the population of our root.
However, to the dismay, many people, especially Chinese, refuse to have more kids due to the financial burden and also their own freedom. They feel that their freedom is being tied after having kids. Some, even do not want to get marry, to pursue their dream.
Many Chinese nowadays refuse to receive Chinese education. One of my Primary school classmate even said that he doesn't want to study Chinese. When every Chinese in our country holds this perception, will there any Chinese school or Chinese based organisation be conducted in our country? Is Chinese New Year will be celebrated in Malaysia anymore? The blood of Chinese is flowing in our body. The mind of Chinese we are having, though being modernized. We should always be proud of being a Chinese, and even be proud of being a Malaysian.
My brother told us that many Chinese intend to move oversea. They said Malaysia does not appreciate genius. However, they will never know how the foreign countries look at whom are moving to their country. Even though they are rich enough to move to their country yet they will only be the second class resident of the country, always.
I wonder, if this circumstance sustains and not get any improved, what will be happened to our Chinese community in the future.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
新年快乐！
新年大家来祝福
首相纳吉也祝福
一个大马且加入
国民个个跑无处
更是口水朝其吐
南方人民正受苦
居所面水走无路
然尔不顾他们苦
一味推广大马图
吾该乐其心不毒
否则一粒C4给你哭
拜谢我们命未枯
首相纳吉也祝福
一个大马且加入
国民个个跑无处
更是口水朝其吐
南方人民正受苦
居所面水走无路
然尔不顾他们苦
一味推广大马图
吾该乐其心不毒
否则一粒C4给你哭
拜谢我们命未枯
允吾祝愿诸位好命上路
钱到票来投对路
钱到票来投对路
新年快乐遇好兔
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Tech Tech Tech
I am the product which was produced under the technology and information era.
Everything surrounding me are about it.
I use cellphone.
I watch television.
I surf internet to get updated with online news.
I play Facebook the whole day.
I write my feeling into the cold "skinned" digital box.
I interact with friends through the digital box.
This is how I live, with the machine.
We called this modernization, "machinization ".
We called people who do not know how to use the device as outdated.
Even dog nowaday, has Facebook account I tell you.
So are we still being thrown behind?
And then I met some close friends who love following me to here to there who named radiation.
They want to introduce me to their children who called cancer/disease.
I did a different thing few days ago.
I put my cellphone away.
I did not switch on the digital box.
I put myself into the world of book, the world of paper.
I did not watch television too.
It is relaxing and worriless.
I love that way of living, without machine.
Yet I was helping my mum to bake cookies, using oven the machine.
And that night, I saw miss calls and messages from friends.
I have to settle things using those devices at last.
Sigh... I can never escape from technology....
Everything surrounding me are about it.
I use cellphone.
I watch television.
I surf internet to get updated with online news.
I play Facebook the whole day.
I write my feeling into the cold "skinned" digital box.
I interact with friends through the digital box.
This is how I live, with the machine.
We called this modernization, "machinization ".
We called people who do not know how to use the device as outdated.
Even dog nowaday, has Facebook account I tell you.
So are we still being thrown behind?
And then I met some close friends who love following me to here to there who named radiation.
They want to introduce me to their children who called cancer/disease.
I did a different thing few days ago.
I put my cellphone away.
I did not switch on the digital box.
I put myself into the world of book, the world of paper.
I did not watch television too.
It is relaxing and worriless.
I love that way of living, without machine.
Yet I was helping my mum to bake cookies, using oven the machine.
And that night, I saw miss calls and messages from friends.
I have to settle things using those devices at last.
Sigh... I can never escape from technology....
Thursday, January 20, 2011
My 1st trip -To the Land of Smile Day 3 (Part 2)
Sister wanted to have some drink that night before going back to Malaysia so we went to Silom (this is the third time we been to Silom) again. Sister chose a beer house beside the road and we sat facing to the road and watching people who passing by. To be honest, I enjoyed this activity, in Malaysia and at anywhere. It is an art to enjoy every single people, from head to toes， from left to right.
We found an uncle John (this is a common name of US people we thought) was sitting beside. He is cute and kind. I kept snapping his photo, without his permission. Alright, I know this is unethical.
I told sister that there is actually another place which is famous of nightlife, Sukhumvit. I read from the book. I don't like nightlife, to be frank. My purpose was actually to travel to somewhere we did not go. We took taxi to Sukhumvit.
It is another area in Bangkok. Bangkok is another sleepless night city. We saw many stalls were still operating along the road in the late night.
Sister chose another beer house which I forgot the name. However it is very easy to be recognize that you can find a big snooker table placed at the second floor. Sister initially wanted to play snooker but someone has occupied the table earlier than us. I ordered a glass of apple juice. I don't drink.
There were two Caucasians and one Thai sitting beside us. One of the man asked us to join them. Do not know how reject his over-friendly, we joined them.
The man is an Irish, same to another female with him. He can speak Thai as he has been working in Bangkok over ten years. Same to us, he enjoys travelling around, especially Asia. He plays photographing as well. He was over react that night at which we believe he was drunk.
Although we don't take his conversation serious (since he was drunk) but some have really upset me. We were praising the friendliness of Thais. He then told us, it is proved effective only when you are a tourist. "But in some villages or somewhere are underdeveloped, people there still maintain their pureness", he added then. He shared his experience of after working more than 10 years in this country that Thais now who knew he is not tourist, being no more friendly as they did previously.
While we mentioned about Silom, he has another view. He asked us if Silom a culture of Thailand. We remained silent and listened to him. He was quite inspiring and said "It is not Thai culture." It is something added in after the country developed and now it has become a tourist site. I felt guilty as I hold the perception that I must visit to the red light district and see those A Qua. I always think it is a culture of Thailand that we cannot missed.
His words inspire me. He continued, " The original Thais are pure and kind." They changed when the country become developed and urbanised(i added this). This can't be denied that modernisation and urbanisation has seriously corrupted the origin of a culture.
I felt his grieved toward the changing. But, you know. Things change always because of ourself who made it. I believed that the day when he started working in Thailand, he can be one of those who make this change. Who knows?
That's why our respectable C & C's lecturer, Ms Por said, it is impossible for travelling to seek authenticity. The place lost its authenticity when outsider reached.
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| The "mobile" hawker...wakaka |
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| A typical US uncle |
It is another area in Bangkok. Bangkok is another sleepless night city. We saw many stalls were still operating along the road in the late night.
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| Sukhumvit |
There were two Caucasians and one Thai sitting beside us. One of the man asked us to join them. Do not know how reject his over-friendly, we joined them.
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| I am proud of their good friendship. |
Although we don't take his conversation serious (since he was drunk) but some have really upset me. We were praising the friendliness of Thais. He then told us, it is proved effective only when you are a tourist. "But in some villages or somewhere are underdeveloped, people there still maintain their pureness", he added then. He shared his experience of after working more than 10 years in this country that Thais now who knew he is not tourist, being no more friendly as they did previously.
While we mentioned about Silom, he has another view. He asked us if Silom a culture of Thailand. We remained silent and listened to him. He was quite inspiring and said "It is not Thai culture." It is something added in after the country developed and now it has become a tourist site. I felt guilty as I hold the perception that I must visit to the red light district and see those A Qua. I always think it is a culture of Thailand that we cannot missed.
His words inspire me. He continued, " The original Thais are pure and kind." They changed when the country become developed and urbanised(i added this). This can't be denied that modernisation and urbanisation has seriously corrupted the origin of a culture.
I felt his grieved toward the changing. But, you know. Things change always because of ourself who made it. I believed that the day when he started working in Thailand, he can be one of those who make this change. Who knows?
That's why our respectable C & C's lecturer, Ms Por said, it is impossible for travelling to seek authenticity. The place lost its authenticity when outsider reached.
My 1st trip -To the Land of Smile Day 3 （Part1）
It was the third day in Bangkok. Eventually, I have my solo journey around the land of smile. I have been planning this but my coward + lazy spirit stopped me from doing this the day before.
I woke up early that day and started my solo trip.I have asked the receptionist of any nearest temple in Sathorn the night before yet the place that he told me is too far from our place. I found from the guidebook which sister brought that the monks will walk out from their temple to collect the offerings from the people ( which we called "tuo bo" in chinese). I thought I have no chance doing that. Nevertheless, the morning when I walked out to the market, I saw numerous of monks were walking out there. I gave offering to two monks and I felt really happy with my luck. The elder monk asked me if I was Japanese. This happened in many places I have visited, sometimes even in Malaysia.
Then I started my journey. I did not plan where to go but just simply walked to any direction I like. You know, you must always plan before started a journey. I now understood this rule. I lost my direction then.
I walked such a long way then I lost my direction in an apartment district. To my dismay, I turned back to the direction where my hotel locates. There were more than ten taxis slowed down their speed while passing by me. I hold my impulse by telling myself to save money, to save money, to save money. However after few minutes walking to the intersection, I saw a biker who stopped by the roadside. This is one type of the public transportation in Thailand, the bike. Without any hesitated, I raised my hand and walked toward him. I decided to take this ride. One I want to know the rate, and another reason was that both my legs were too tired.
He dropped me in Silom. I tried to bargain with him about the fare to 80 baht from 120 baht before the ride. However when we reached Silom, I gave him 100 baht and asked for change. He told me that he has no small change and that was the fare for that ride! I thought I was clever but not in fact.
I found people in Thailand are really soft and gentle. They seldom speak loud, not even shout, especially the ladies, let's ignore those working in special district. And I have even found that the dogs here are gentle as well. They did not bark as loud as dogs in Malaysia.
I walked back to Sathorn around 10am. I tried the ice tea along the road. It was seriously taste good and brought convenience to the working people. You can see more than ten stalls selling tea or coffee along the roadside. I guessed it is the point mark of Thailand in the morning.
Before I forgot, something quite funny happened in my solo trip.
I was unfamiliar with the environment and road name in Bangkok as all written in Thai.
I found a security along the road and I asked him the road back to my place.
He was very enthusiastic and friendly you know. But the thing is he doesn't speak English but Thai.
I have no idea what he was talking about.
At last, he decided to draw me a map. It ended up with the map that I pretended I understand.
Sister and I went to Chaktuchak the biggest market in Thailand in that afternoon. We did not spend much time as sister said there aren't much to shop. At last, I successfully bought two huge backpacks from there for just RM30 each! I shall go there next time.
The next will be the most horrible experience we got in Thailand. We were in front of the lift, I have forgotten if we were tending to go out or just back from outside that time. We saw a lady was walking from a dark corridor toward us in front of us. The lady was in white top which looked similar to hospital suit with a dark colour sarong. She did not tie up her long hair which really quite messy. And the most frightening is she was holding a packet of blood on her right hand which seems sticking to her arm.
Polite me, reacted to her with a smile that time. I could not think so much that time. She replied me with a smile as well. She was limping and walking very hard. Yet we were too frightened that time and decided to fasten our pace back to our room.
She left an impressive memory deep inside my brain which I could not bear repeating the scene in front of my sight. I couldn't help to look around the corridor everytime when I walked in the corridor. I guessed this is the most unforgettable memory I have ever experienced so far.
 |
| the offering |
 |
| The elder monk was asking people beside me if I am a Japanese |
 |
| I joined them to pass the offering to the monks |
I walked such a long way then I lost my direction in an apartment district. To my dismay, I turned back to the direction where my hotel locates. There were more than ten taxis slowed down their speed while passing by me. I hold my impulse by telling myself to save money, to save money, to save money. However after few minutes walking to the intersection, I saw a biker who stopped by the roadside. This is one type of the public transportation in Thailand, the bike. Without any hesitated, I raised my hand and walked toward him. I decided to take this ride. One I want to know the rate, and another reason was that both my legs were too tired.
 |
| This driver cheated me! |
I found people in Thailand are really soft and gentle. They seldom speak loud, not even shout, especially the ladies, let's ignore those working in special district. And I have even found that the dogs here are gentle as well. They did not bark as loud as dogs in Malaysia.
I walked back to Sathorn around 10am. I tried the ice tea along the road. It was seriously taste good and brought convenience to the working people. You can see more than ten stalls selling tea or coffee along the roadside. I guessed it is the point mark of Thailand in the morning.
Before I forgot, something quite funny happened in my solo trip.
I was unfamiliar with the environment and road name in Bangkok as all written in Thai.
I found a security along the road and I asked him the road back to my place.
He was very enthusiastic and friendly you know. But the thing is he doesn't speak English but Thai.
I have no idea what he was talking about.
At last, he decided to draw me a map. It ended up with the map that I pretended I understand.
 |
| have any idea what did he draw? |
 |
| My favourite fruit~ |
 |
| The artist in Chaktuchak |
Polite me, reacted to her with a smile that time. I could not think so much that time. She replied me with a smile as well. She was limping and walking very hard. Yet we were too frightened that time and decided to fasten our pace back to our room.
She left an impressive memory deep inside my brain which I could not bear repeating the scene in front of my sight. I couldn't help to look around the corridor everytime when I walked in the corridor. I guessed this is the most unforgettable memory I have ever experienced so far.
 |
| We will never know what will happen when the lift opened |
 |
| Graduation ceremony |
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
祝我生日快乐
活了22年，我又回到了118，我出生的这一天
差别的是，那后面的数目已不再是1989，而是2011了
不同的是，我长大，长高了
一样的是，我还是活着
感谢妈妈赋予我的生命，还有给予我生存下来的能力
感谢爸爸让我健健康康，幸幸福福地过着无忧无虑的生活
感谢大姐二姐哥哥陪我度过每一刻美好的童年时光
感谢朋友们总是那么体贴那么温馨地陪伴我度过每一个伤心寂寞的日子
感谢死党们总是那么地了解我照顾我
感谢兄弟们那么洒脱地和我道天说地
感谢法侣们陪伴我一起精进学习，还有谢谢你们的关怀
感谢亲戚们的疼惜还有每一年新年的红包
感谢教过我的老师们，感谢你们无私的奉献还有教导
感谢与我一同学习的朋友法侣们，让我在学习路上不寂寞
感谢敌人们的栽培，让我学习成长，磨练我的脾气
感谢世间每一个人每一生物每一物的成就，让我成为今天的自己
谢谢你们，还有谢谢自己，还有能力让自己快乐活到今天
还有能力照料自己的身体和心怀
祝我生日快乐，祝我天天都是生日天~
差别的是，那后面的数目已不再是1989，而是2011了
不同的是，我长大，长高了
一样的是，我还是活着
感谢妈妈赋予我的生命，还有给予我生存下来的能力
感谢爸爸让我健健康康，幸幸福福地过着无忧无虑的生活
感谢大姐二姐哥哥陪我度过每一刻美好的童年时光
感谢朋友们总是那么体贴那么温馨地陪伴我度过每一个伤心寂寞的日子
感谢死党们总是那么地了解我照顾我
感谢兄弟们那么洒脱地和我道天说地
感谢法侣们陪伴我一起精进学习，还有谢谢你们的关怀
感谢亲戚们的疼惜还有每一年新年的红包
感谢教过我的老师们，感谢你们无私的奉献还有教导
感谢与我一同学习的朋友法侣们，让我在学习路上不寂寞
感谢敌人们的栽培，让我学习成长，磨练我的脾气
感谢世间每一个人每一生物每一物的成就，让我成为今天的自己
谢谢你们，还有谢谢自己，还有能力让自己快乐活到今天
还有能力照料自己的身体和心怀
祝我生日快乐，祝我天天都是生日天~
Sunday, January 2, 2011
妈妈
我不是一个不孝的女儿
我不是一个不乖的女儿
我只是一个不会表达爱的女儿
千千万万的对不起，每次想要说出来，却像个哑巴，哽在喉儿吐不出来
每一次堆积到嘴边的“我爱你”，却临阵退缩，偷偷地溜回肚子里
总是觉得牵手是一个难为情的事情，因此我不牵妈妈的手
我不是一个总爱把爱挂在嘴边的人，也不爱撒娇
每次的关心，因为不知怎么表达的情况下，总似以吵架收场
妈妈，对不起对不起对不起
与您共眠的几天后，今天我回到了久违的外宿生活，回到一个人的枕头
妈妈，我想念您了。。。
Murmuring in my room...
This is my first time having my own personal space.
This is my first time decorating my own room.
This is my first time living alone in a room.
I listened to the Taiwan singer, Lin Yu Qun's song this morning. The song name is " Living alone" .
He looked sorrow yet firm.
I was thinking, is it so hard to live alone? Is it so sad to be no one beside?
For me, I will definitely appreciate the time when I get alone.
I went to Tesco alone, just now.
I bought daily appliance.
I selected stuffs for my new personal space.
I was walking back to my house alone, under the dark sky.
There was no moon looking at me but stars did.
However, I was not happy.
I smell loneliness when I locked myself in my room.
I felt alone although I switched on my speaker loud, singing loud...
How long haven't I hung out with my friends already?
How long haven't I chitchatted with my mates?
I have forgotten.
Today, I am going to sleep alone, in my new bed, new room.
I miss my mother, I miss my family.
I miss my house mates. I miss my course mates.
I miss all my friends.
I miss my trip.
This is my first time decorating my own room.
This is my first time living alone in a room.
I listened to the Taiwan singer, Lin Yu Qun's song this morning. The song name is " Living alone" .
He looked sorrow yet firm.
I was thinking, is it so hard to live alone? Is it so sad to be no one beside?
For me, I will definitely appreciate the time when I get alone.
I went to Tesco alone, just now.
I bought daily appliance.
I selected stuffs for my new personal space.
I was walking back to my house alone, under the dark sky.
There was no moon looking at me but stars did.
However, I was not happy.
I smell loneliness when I locked myself in my room.
I felt alone although I switched on my speaker loud, singing loud...
How long haven't I hung out with my friends already?
How long haven't I chitchatted with my mates?
I have forgotten.
Today, I am going to sleep alone, in my new bed, new room.
I miss my mother, I miss my family.
I miss my house mates. I miss my course mates.
I miss all my friends.
I miss my trip.
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